| Bozone (n.): | The substance surrounding a stupid person that stops bright ideas from penetrating. |
| Foreploy: | Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid. |
| Cashtration (n.): | The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period. |
| Giraffiti: | Vandalism spray-painted very, very high. |
| Sarchasm: | The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it. |
| Inoculatte: | To take coffee intravenously when you are running late. |
| Hipatitis: | Terminal coolness.
|
| Osteopornosis: | A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.) |
| Karmageddon: | It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer. |
| Decafalon (n.): | The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you. |
| Glibido: | All talk and no action. |
| Dopeler effect: | The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly. |
| Arachnoleptic fit (n.): | The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web. |
| Beelzebug (n.): | Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out. |
| Caterpallor (n.): | The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating. |
| Ignoranus: | A person who's both stupid AND an asshole. |
