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O'Malley

An Irishman named O'Malley went to his doctor after a long illness. The doctor, after a lengthy examination, sighed and looked O'Malley in the eye and said, "I've some bad news for you. You have cancer, and it can't be cured. You'd best put your affairs in order."

O'Malley was shocked and saddened. But, being of solid character, he managed to compose himself and walk from the doctor's office into the waiting room, to his son who had been waiting.

O'Malley said, "Well son, we Irish celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when things don't go so well. In this case, things aren't so well. I have cancer. Let's head for the pub and have a few pints."

After 3 or 4 pints, the two were feeling a little less sombre. There were some laughs and more beers. They were eventually approached by some of O'Malley's old friends who asked what the two were celebrating.

O'Malley told them that the Irish celebrate the good and the bad. He went on to tell them that they were drinking to his impending end. He told his friends, "I have been diagnosed with AIDS."

The friends gave O'Malley their condolences, and they had a couple more beers. After his friends left, O'Malley's son leaned over and whispered his confusion. "Dad, I thought you said that you were dying from cancer? You just told your friends that you were dying from AIDS!"

O'Malley said, "I don't want any of them sleeping with your mother after I'm gone."