1. Your coworker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.
2. You make over $250,000 and still can't afford a house.
3. You take a bus and are shocked at 2 people carrying on a conversation in English.
4. Your child's 3rd grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Breeze.
5. You can't remember...is pot illegal?
6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.
7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown and can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.
8. You know which restaurant serves the freshest arugula.
9. You can't remember.....is pot illegal?
10. A really great parking space can move you to tears.
11. A low speed pursuit will interrupt ANY television program for hours on end.
12. Gas cost 75 cents per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.
13. A man gets on the bus in full leather regalia and crotchless chaps. You don't even notice.
14. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing the baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like Clooney IS George Clooney.
15. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.
16. Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay, the woman who delivers your mail is into BDSM and your Mary Kay rep is a guy in drag.
17. You can't remember...is pot illegal?
18. It's sprinkling and there's a report on every news station about "STORM WATCH 2000."
19. You have to leave the big company meeting early because Billy Blanks himself is teaching the 4:00 PM Tae Bo class.
20. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cell phones or pagers.
21. It's sprinkling outside, so you leavefor work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.
22. Hey - Is Pot Illegal?
23. You AND your dog have therapists.
24. Over 85% of the cities, towns and streets start with San, Los, El, La, Santa, De La, or De Los; Mexican restaurants abound; and English is the only recognized language.
25. You're driven to tears by two overcast days in a row.
26. Semi's rumble by, and you assume it's just a mild earthquake.
27. Eleven and 12 year olds identify with Oldies music, the Beatles, Classic rock, and Disco, and they remember the words better than you.
28. Soy milk is "de rigeur" on coffee house menus.
29. A family of four owns six vehicles.
30. SUV's never see a dirt road in their life.
31. Asking someone as if you think they cared, is a commom everyday occurence.
32. Everyone who lives here knows that hurricanes, tornadoes, floods, and snow storms are way times worse than earthquakes.
33. The store is across the street, and you still have to drive there.
34. You can get a "fixer-upper" for $250K.
35. Gyms are swarming with fitness nazis who consider anyone not obsessed with working out, as inferior specimens.
36. There are bakeries that cater to dogs only.
37. Lastly, you think that you might some day remember if pot is illegal.

Q. Do you know how many Californians it takes to screw in a light bulb?
A. Californians don't screw in light bulbs-they screw in hot tubs.