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|Sunday, September 26, 2021|
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|"Hickphonics," a language to be taught in all Southern schools. A speaker of this language would be a Hickophone. The following are excerpts from the Hickphonics/English dictionary:
HEIDI - noun. Greeting.
HIRE YEW - Complete sentence. Remainder of greeting.
BARD - verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."
JAWJUH - noun. The State north of Florida. Capitol is Lanner.
BAMMER - noun. The State west of Jawjuh. Capitol is Berminhayum.
MUNTS - noun. A calendar division.
THANK - verb. Ability to cognitively process.
BARE - noun. An alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and yeast.
IGNERT - adjective. Not smart. See "Arkansas native."
RANCH - noun. A tool used for tight'nin' bolts.
ALL - noun. A petroleum-based lubricant.
FAR - noun. A conflagration.
TAR - noun. A rubber wheel.
TIRE - noun. A tall monument.
RETARD - Verb. To stop working.
FAT - noun, verb. 1. a battle or combat. 2. to engage in battle or combat.
RATS - noun. Entitled power or privilege.
FARN - adjective. Not local.
DID - adjective. Not alive.
EAR - noun. A colorless, odorless gas: Oxygen.
BOBWAR - noun. A sharp, twisted cable.
JEW HERE - Noun and verb contraction.
HAZE - a contraction.
SEED - verb, past tense of "to see".