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Statues of Founding Fathers. Statues of Heisman Trophy winners.
Also a physics major. Also Miss USA.
Mario Cuomo. Bear Bryant.
5 days before the game you can walk into the ticket office on campus and still purchase tickets. 5 months before the game you can walk into the ticket office on campus and still be placed on the waiting list for tickets.
Students and teachers are not sure if they are going to the game because they have class on Friday. Teachers cancel class on Friday because they don't want to see the few hungover students that might actually make it to class on Friday.
An hour or two before game time the university opens the campus for game parking. RV's sporting their school flags begin arriving on Wednesday for the weekend's festivities. The real faithful begin arriving on Tuesday.
A few students party in the dorm and watch ESPN on TV. Every student wakes up, has a beer for breakfast, and rushes over to where ESPN is broadcasting "Game Day Live" to get on camera and wave to the idiots from up North who wonder why game day is never broadcast from their campus.
Raw meat on the grill, beer with a lime in it,listening to local radio station with truck tailgate down. 30-foot custom pig-shaped smoker fires up at dawn. Cooking accompanied by live performance by Hootie & the Blowfish, who come over during breaks and ask for a hit off your bottle of bourbon.
You have to ask, "Where's the stadium?" When you find it you walk right in with no line. When you're near it, you'll hear it. On game day, it becomes the state's third largest city.
Drinks served in a paper cup filled to the top with soda. Drinks served in a plastic cup with the home team's mascot filled less than halfway to ensure enough room for bourbon.
Stands are less than half full. 100,000+ fans sing along in perfect 3-part harmony.
Nothing changes. Fireworks with a twist of bourbon.
"Nice play." "Dammit you slow sumbitch-tackle him and break his legs!!!"
"My, this is a violent sport." "Dammit you slow sumbitch-tackle him and break his legs!!!"
The stadium is empty before the game ends. Another rack of ribs on the smoker, while somebody goes to the nearest package store for more bourbon, planning begins for next week's party.