| A CHRISTIAN | You have two cows. You keep one and give one to
your neighbor. |
| A SOCIALIST | You have two cows. The government takes one and
gives it to your neighbor. |
| A REPUBLICAN | You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So
what? |
| A DEMOCRAT | You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You
feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your
cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people
you voted for then take your tax money and buy a cow and give it to your
neighbor. You feel righteous. |
| A COMMUNIST | You have two cows. The government seizes both and
provides you with a little milk. |
| A FASCIST | You have two cows. The government seizes both and
sells you the milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage. |
| DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE | You have two cows. The government taxes you to
the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who
has only one cow, which was a gift from your government. |
| CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE | You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and
build a herd of cows. |
| BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE | You have two cows. The government takes custody
of them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, then
pours the milk down the drain. |
| AN AMERICAN CORPORATION | You have two cows. You sell one, and force the
other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead. |
| A FRENCH CORPORATION | You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. |
| A JAPANESE CORPORATION | You have two cows. You redesign them so they are
one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. |
| A GERMAN CORPORATION | You have two cows. You reengineer them so they
live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves. |
| AN ITALIAN CORPORATION | You have two cows but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch. |
| A RUSSIAN CORPORATION | You have two cows. You count them and learn you
have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count
them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka. |
| A MEXICAN CORPORATION | You think you have two cows, but you don't know
what a cow looks like. You take a siesta. |
| A SWISS CORPORATION | You have 5000 cows, none of which belongs to you. You charge for storing them for others. |
| A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION | You have two cows. You enter into a partnership
with an American corporation. Soon you have 1000 cows and the American corporation declares bankruptcy. |
| AN INDIAN CORPORATION | You have two cows. You worship them. |
