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Woodcutter's Wife

When God created man and all the beasts, he also gave to each of them an expected life span and a period during which each would experience good sex.

He said to man, "Thou shall have a lifespan of 3 score and ten years, with 20 years of good sex."

To the monkey, God said, "Thou shall have a lifespan of 20 years, with 18 years of good sex."

To the horse, God said, "Thou shall have a lifespan of 25 years, with 20 years of good sex."

To the lion, God said, "Thou shall have a lifespan of 30 years, with 25 years of good sex."

Man heard each of these pronouncements, and thought he'd received a long lifespan, but not much in good sex compared to the beasts. So, he went to each of the animals and asked them if they could give up a few of their years of good sex since man had so few. The monkey said, "I suppose I could give you 5 years of good sex. That way I'll still have over half my life with good sex." The horse said, "You can have 5 years. I'll still have 15 of my 25 years of good sex." Finally, man went to the lion, who said, "I'm really mostly interested in hunting. You can have 20 of my 25 years of good sex." And man was happy.

He went to God, who of course already knew of the generosity of all the beasts in sharing so many of their allotted years of good sex with man. And God said, "Let it be ever so. You shall add to your 20 years of good sex 5 years from the monkey, 5 years from the horse, and 20 years from the lion." And ever since then, man has enjoyed 20 years of good sex, 5 years of monkeying around, 5 years of horsing around, and 20 years of lion about it all.