"If you don't know where you're going, any bus will do"
|Maintaining a Healthy Level of Insanity
- At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point
a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
- Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
- Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if he or she wants fries with that.
- Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "In."
- Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once people have gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
- In the memo field of all your checks, write "For Smuggling Diamonds."
- Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."
- Don't use any punctuation
- As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
- Order a diet water with a serious face whenever you go out to eat.
- Specify that your drive-through order is "To Go."
- Sing along at the opera.
- Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
- Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
- Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
- Have your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
- When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won! I Won!"
- When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run
for your lives, they're loose!"
- Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
- And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity: Send this to
someone to make her/him smile! Growing older is mandatory, growing up
is optional, and laughing at yourself is therapeutic!