"If you don't know where you're going, any bus will do"
Sign over a gynecologist's office:
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."
On a Plumbers truck:
"We repair what your husband fixed."
On the trucks of a local plumbing company in NE
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."
Pizza shop slogan:
"7 days without pizza makes one weak"
At a tire shop in Milwaukee:
"Invite us to your next blowout."
Door of a plastic surgeon's office:
"Hello. Can we pick your nose?"
At a towing company:
"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."
On an electrician's truck:
"Let us remove your shorts."
In a nonsmoking area:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
On a maternity room door:
At an optometrist's office:
"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to
the right place."
On a taxidermist's window:
"We really know our stuff."
In a podiatrist's office:
On a fence:
"Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive."
At a car dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car
Outside a muffler shop:
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."
In a veterinarian's waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
At the electric company:
"We would be de-lighted if you send in your bill. However,
if you don't, you will be."