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At dawn, the telephone rings...

"Hello, Seņor? This is Ernesto... the caretaker at your country house."

"Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"

"Uh... I'm just calling to advise you, Seņor, that your parrot died."

"My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International speaking competition?"

"Si, Seņor... that's the one."

"Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?"

"From eating rotten meat, Seņor."

"Rotten meat? Now who in hell fed my parrot rotten meat?"

"Nobody, Seņor. He ate the meat of your dead horse!"

"Dead horse? What dead horse?!"

"Your thoroughbred that won the Breeders Cup, Seņor. The poor horse died from a heart attack while pulling the big water cart."

"Are you insane? What water cart?"

"The one we used to put out the fire, Seņor!"

"Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?"

"The one at your house, Seņor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire."

"What the...!! There's electricity at the house!! What was the candle being used for?"

"For the funeral, Seņor."


"Your wife's, Seņor... She showed up one night out of the blue and I thought she was a thief so I hit her on the head with your new Tiger Woods Nike driver."

A long pause of complete silence... "Ernesto, if you broke that driver, you're in deep sh*t!"