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20-20 Vision
A 47 Year Old Woman
A Jersey Wife
A Tongue Twister
And Then The Fight Started
Are You Hungry?
ATM Procedures for Men and Women
Bedroom Golf
Betty Crocker
Bottle of Wine
Bulls
Bumber Stickers For Women
Camels
Change A Lightbulb?
Clean Can Be Funny
Creation
Cross Examination
Dear Tide
Eight Simple Rules
Encourage Your Wife
Female Hormones in Beer
Feminine Products
Fishin'
Geography
Getting Out of a Ticket
Ground Control
He Said, She Said
Helping the Homeless
High School Reunions
How I Got Fired From Walmart
How To Shower
How To Translate English From Men and Women
HusbandMart
Impressing the Sexes
In Praise Of Older Women
Inheritance
It's Tough To Be A Man
Just Words
Memories
Mood Ring
Outta Here
Physical Exam
Pick-Up Lines
Pin The Tail On The Donkey
Police Warning To All Men
Poor Bob
Prescription
Priceless
Quiz For Men
Refrigerator Note
Reindeer
Roy and Bea
Sam and Bessie
Satan
Scottish Love
Secrets of Women's Language
Self-Esteem
Senior Smarts
She Says, He Hears
Shipped Home
Shortest Fairy Tale Ever
Simple Math
Sixty-Sixth Birthday
Snotty Receptionist
Stranded On A Desert Island
Suspicious Minds
Tampons
Tech Support
The 6th Grader
The Dentist's Office
The Honeymoon
The Rules
The Salesman
Think Like A Woman
To Women Everywhere
Two Guys
UCLA Study
What Do Women Really Want?
What I Want In A Man
What If Men Wrote Self-Help Advice Columns
What Starts With F And Ends With K
Where Have You Been?
Who's The Boss?
Why Men Are Never Depressed
Why Women Are Crabby
Why Women Shouldn't Take Men Shopping
Wise Advice On Marriage and Dating
Woodcutter's Wife
Quiz For Men
  1. Alien beings from a highly advanced society visit the Earth, and you are the first human they encounter. As a token of intergalactic friendship, they present you with a small but incredibly sophisticated device capable of curing all disease, providing an infinite supply of clean energy, wiping out hunger and poverty, and permanently eliminating oppression and violence all over the entire Earth. You decide to:
    1. Present it to the President of the United States.
    2. Present it to the Secretary General of the United Nations.
    3. Take it apart.
  2. As you grow older, what lost quality of your youthful life do you miss the most?
    1. Innocence
    2. Idealism.
    3. Cherry bombs.
  3. When is it okay to kiss another male?
    1. When you wish to display simple and pure affection without regard for narrow-minded social conventions.
    2. When he is the Pope. (Not on the lips.)
    3. When he is your brother and you are Al Pacino and this is the only really sportsman-like way to let him know that, for business reasons, you have to have him killed.
  4. In your opinion, the ideal pet is:
    1. A cat.
    2. A dog.
    3. A dog that eats cats.
  5. You have been dating a woman for several years. She's attractive and intelligent, and you always enjoy being with her. One leisurely Sunday afternoon the two of you are taking it easy. You're watching a football game. She's reading the papers and suddenly, out of the clear blue sky, tells you she thinks she really loves you, but she can no longer bear the uncertainty of not knowing where your relationship is going. She says she's not asking whether you want to get married; only whether you believe you have some kind of future together. What do you say?
    1. You sincerely believe the two of you do have a future, but you don't want to rush it.
    2. Although you also have strong feelings for her, you cannot honestly say you'll be ready anytime soon to make a lasting commitment, and you don't want to hurt her by holding out false hope.
    3. You cannot believe the Broncos called a draw play on third and seventeen.
  6. Okay, so you have decided you truly love a woman and you want to spend the rest of your life with her, sharing the joys and the sorrows the world has to offer, come what may. How do you tell her?
    1. You take her to a nice restaurant and tell her after dinner.
    2. You take her for a walk on a moonlit beach, and you say her name, and when she turns to you, with the sea breeze blowing through her hair and the stars in her eyes, you tell her.
    3. Tell her what?
  7. One weekday morning your wife wakes up feeling ill and asks you to get your three children ready for school. Your first question to her is:
    1. "Do they need to eat or anything?"
    2. "They're in school already?"
    3. "There are three of them?"
  8. When is it okay to throw away a set of veteran underwear?
    1. When it has turned the color of a dead whale and developed new holes so large you're not sure which ones were originally intended for your legs.
    2. When it is down to eight loosely connected underwear molecules and has to be handled with tweezers.
    3. It is never okay to throw away veteran underwear. A real guy checks the garbage regularly in case somebody, and we are not naming names, but this would be his wife, is quietly trying to discard his underwear.
  9. What, in your opinion, is the most reasonable explanation for the fact that Moses led the Israelites all over the place for forty years before they finally got to the Promised Land?
    1. He was being tested.
    2. He wanted them to really appreciate the Promised Land when they finally got there.
    3. He refused to ask for directions.
  10. What is the human race's single greatest achievement?
    1. Democracy.
    2. Religion.
    3. Remote control.