Computer Guy (animated) W I L D  B I L L Comma S  P L A C E
"If you don't know where you're going, any bus will do"
E Komo Mai  About Me  In Class  Reading List  Adventures  Funny Stuff  Links   
Nine-ElevenSocial CommentaryPoliticsThe Battle of the SexesBlondes Are More FunThe SouthThis Life and TimesGolfOther Humorous StuffMy Stuff
20-20 Vision
A 47 Year Old Woman
A Jersey Wife
A Tongue Twister
And Then The Fight Started
Are You Hungry?
ATM Procedures for Men and Women
Bedroom Golf
Betty Crocker
Bottle of Wine
Bulls
Bumber Stickers For Women
Camels
Change A Lightbulb?
Clean Can Be Funny
Creation
Cross Examination
Dear Tide
Eight Simple Rules
Encourage Your Wife
Female Hormones in Beer
Feminine Products
Fishin'
Geography
Getting Out of a Ticket
Ground Control
He Said, She Said
Helping the Homeless
High School Reunions
How I Got Fired From Walmart
How To Shower
How To Translate English From Men and Women
HusbandMart
Impressing the Sexes
In Praise Of Older Women
Inheritance
It's Tough To Be A Man
Just Words
Memories
Mood Ring
Outta Here
Physical Exam
Pick-Up Lines
Pin The Tail On The Donkey
Police Warning To All Men
Poor Bob
Prescription
Priceless
Quiz For Men
Refrigerator Note
Reindeer
Roy and Bea
Sam and Bessie
Satan
Scottish Love
Secrets of Women's Language
Self-Esteem
Senior Smarts
She Says, He Hears
Shipped Home
Shortest Fairy Tale Ever
Simple Math
Sixty-Sixth Birthday
Snotty Receptionist
Stranded On A Desert Island
Suspicious Minds
Tampons
Tech Support
The 6th Grader
The Dentist's Office
The Honeymoon
The Rules
The Salesman
Think Like A Woman
To Women Everywhere
Two Guys
UCLA Study
What Do Women Really Want?
What I Want In A Man
What If Men Wrote Self-Help Advice Columns
What Starts With F And Ends With K
Where Have You Been?
Who's The Boss?
Why Men Are Never Depressed
Why Women Are Crabby
Why Women Shouldn't Take Men Shopping
Wise Advice On Marriage and Dating
Woodcutter's Wife
Secrets of Women's Language
"Fine"This is the word we use at the end of any argument that we feel we are right about but need to shut you up. NEVER use "Fine" to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.
"Five minutes"This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.
"Nothing"This means something, and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine."
"Go Ahead"
(with raised eyebrows)
This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine."
"Go Ahead"
(normal eyebrows)
This means "I give up" or "Do what you want, because I don't care." You will get a raised eyebrow "Go ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.
Loud SighThis is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement very misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing."
Soft SighAgain, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" are one of the few things that some men actually understand. She is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.
"Oh"This word followed by any statement is trouble. Example: "Oh, let me get that." Or, "Oh, I talked to him about what you were doing last night." If she says "Oh" before a statement, RUN, do not walk, to the nearest exit. She will tell you that she is "Fine" when she is done tossing your clothes out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least 2 days. "Oh," as the lead to a sentence, usually signifies that you are caught in a lie. Do not try to lie more to get out of it, or you will get raised eyebrows "Go ahead" followed by acts so unspeakable that we can't bring ourselves to write about them.
"That's Okay"This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you retributions for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and used in conjunction with a raised eyebrow "Go ahead." At some point in the near future when she has plotted and planned, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.
"Please Do"This is not a statement; it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance to tell the truth, so be careful, and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay".
"Thanks"A woman is thanking you. Do not faint; just say you're welcome.
"Thanks a lot"This is much different from "Thanks". A woman will say, "Thanks a lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh", as she will only tell you "Nothing."

I hope this clears up any misunderstandings ...