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2004 Election Issue - Social Security
2029 News Headlines
A Short History of the World (according to Conservatives)
Al Gore Goes To Europe
Al Gore In Vietnam
Al Gore Went Down To Florida
Al Gore: Separating Fact from Fiction
At The Oscars
Autobiography: Al Gore
Barocky Road Ice Cream
Bush's Resignation Speech
Cancel My Allowance
Catching Wild Pigs
Democrat or Republican?
Doctor Seuss Goes To Florida
Doctor's Cure for Constipation
Duck Hunting
Economic Lesson in Taxation
Economic Stimulus Payment FAQ
Firearms Refresher Course
Government Service
Hens and Roosters
Hillary's Visit
How Congress Works
How many zeros in a billion?
Hu's On First
Ice Cream Effect
I'm Voting Democrat
It's My Fault
Jack and Bill
Kerry's Job Application
Last Rites
Letter to the President
Liberal vs. Conservative Question
Lincoln-Kennedy Creepy History
Lost Wallet
My Name Is John Kerry
New Truck
New Word For Our Vocabulary
Newsletter From The Boss
Notice of Revocation of Independence
Notice To All Employees
Post Turtle
Redistribution Of Wealth
Sobering Statistic
Thank You, Mr. President
The Ant and the Grasshopper
The Barber
The New National Emblem of the Democratic Party
The Old Man and The Marine
The Rules of Golf: Florida Democrat Style
Thinking
To Be A Good Democrat
Two Alligators
Washington Dilemma
What Did One Senator Say To The Other Senator?
What'd ya say there, Gee-Dubya?
Where Bush Got His Marching Orders
Who's Smarter?
Worst President In History
Notice To All Employees

As of November 5, 2008, when President Obama is officially elected into office, our company will instill a few new policies which are in keeping with his new, inspiring issues of change and fairness:

  1. All salespeople will be pooling their sales and bonuses into a common pool that will be divided equally between all of you. This will serve to give those of you who are underachieving a "fair shake."
  2. All low level workers will be pooling their wages, including overtime, into a common pool, dividing it equally amongst yourselves. This will help those who are "too busy for overtime" to reap the rewards from those who have more spare time and can work extra hours.
  3. All top management will now be referred to as "the government." We will not participate in this "pooling" experience because the law doesnít apply to us.
  4. The "government" will give eloquent speeches to all employees every week, encouraging its workers to continue to work hard "for the good of all."
  5. The employees will be thrilled with these new policies because itís "good to spread the wealth." Those of you who have underachieved will finally get an opportunity; those of you who have worked hard and had success will feel more "patriotic."
  6. The last few people who were hired should clean out their desks.

Don't feel bad, though, because President Obama will give you free healthcare, free handouts, free oil for heating your home, free food stamps, and he'll let you stay in your home for as long as you want even if you can't pay your mortgage.

If you appeal directly to our democratic congress, you might even get a free flat screen TV and a coupon for free haircuts (shouldn't all Americans be entitled to nice looking hair?)!!!

If for any reason you are not happy with the new policies, you may want to rethink your vote on November 4th.