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2004 Election Issue - Social Security
2029 News Headlines
A Short History of the World (according to Conservatives)
Al Gore Goes To Europe
Al Gore In Vietnam
Al Gore Went Down To Florida
Al Gore: Separating Fact from Fiction
At The Oscars
Autobiography: Al Gore
Barocky Road Ice Cream
Bush's Resignation Speech
Cancel My Allowance
Catching Wild Pigs
Democrat or Republican?
Doctor Seuss Goes To Florida
Doctor's Cure for Constipation
Duck Hunting
Economic Lesson in Taxation
Economic Stimulus Payment FAQ
Firearms Refresher Course
Government Service
Hens and Roosters
Hillary's Visit
How Congress Works
How many zeros in a billion?
Hu's On First
Ice Cream Effect
I'm Voting Democrat
It's My Fault
Jack and Bill
Kerry's Job Application
Last Rites
Letter to the President
Liberal vs. Conservative Question
Lincoln-Kennedy Creepy History
Lost Wallet
My Name Is John Kerry
New Truck
New Word For Our Vocabulary
Newsletter From The Boss
Notice of Revocation of Independence
Notice To All Employees
Post Turtle
Redistribution Of Wealth
Sobering Statistic
Thank You, Mr. President
The Ant and the Grasshopper
The Barber
The New National Emblem of the Democratic Party
The Old Man and The Marine
The Rules of Golf: Florida Democrat Style
Thinking
To Be A Good Democrat
Two Alligators
Washington Dilemma
What Did One Senator Say To The Other Senator?
What'd ya say there, Gee-Dubya?
Where Bush Got His Marching Orders
Who's Smarter?
Worst President In History
Virtually anyone can be a Democrat. Just simply quit thinking and vote that way. But, if you want to be a GOOD Democrat, there are some prerequisites you must have first. Compare below and see how you rate.
  1. You have to believe the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.
  2. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
  3. You have to believe that guns, in the hands of law-abiding Americans, are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology, in the hands of Chinese communists.
  4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.
  5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical, documented changes in the earth's climate, and more affected by yuppies driving SUVs.
  6. You have to be against capital punishment but support abortion on demand.
  7. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.
  8. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but activists from Seattle do.
  9. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.
  10. You have to believe the military, not corrupt politicians, start wars.
  11. You have to believe the NRA is bad, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good, because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.
  12. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.
  13. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinmen are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, General Robert E. Lee, Martin Luther King, Jr., or Thomas Edison.
  14. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides aren't.
  15. You have to believe Hillary Clinton is really a lady and doesn't hate "f****** Jew bastards".
  16. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried, is because the right people haven't been in charge.
  17. You have to believe Republicans telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and sex offender belongs in the White House.
  18. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites, and bestiality should be constitutionally protected and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.
  19. You have to believe that illegal Democratic party funding by the Chinese is somehow in the best interest of the United States.