"If you don't know where you're going, any bus will do"
- A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.
- What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway).
- Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
- A backwards poet writes inverse.
- In democracy, it's your vote that counts. In feudalism, it's your Count
- She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.
- A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
- If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
- With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
- Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft, and I'll show you A-flat
- When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
- The man, who fell into an upholstery machine, is fully recovered.
- A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum
- You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
- Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
- He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
- Every calendar's days are numbered.
- A lot of money is tainted. It taint yours and it taint mine.
- A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
- He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
- A plateau is a high form of flattery.
- The short fortune-teller, who escaped from prison, was a small medium at
- Those, who get too big for their britches, will be exposed in the end.
- Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
- Those, who jump off a Paris bridge, are in Seine.
- When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd
dye. (Old blondes never dye... they just fade away!)
- Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
- Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
- Acupuncture is a jab well done.
- Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.