Wild Bill's Place

A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.
What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway).
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
A backwards poet writes inverse.
In democracy, it's your vote that counts. In feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.
A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft, and I'll show you A-flat minor.
When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
The man, who fell into an upholstery machine, is fully recovered.
A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
Every calendar's days are numbered.
A lot of money is tainted. It taint yours and it taint mine.
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
A plateau is a high form of flattery.
The short fortune-teller, who escaped from prison, was a small medium at large.
Those, who get too big for their britches, will be exposed in the end.
Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
Those, who jump off a Paris bridge, are in Seine.
When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye. (Old blondes never dye... they just fade away!)
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
Acupuncture is a jab well done.
Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.